June 23, 2026 - Settling In To A Home Routine

First Things First — The General Update on Tami

First of all, a quick apology for not writing for a while. I have been spending time actually carng for Tami, rather than writing about her. The bottom line is that Tami is home, settling in, and getting physically and mentally stronger each day. After spending far too long immobile in a hospital bed, it has taken time for her to regain the ability to stand and walk. Now, with some stability assistance (me, a walker, walls, counters, tables, sinks, etc.), she can do both with a growing sense of confidence. As of today, she was even able—though with considerable effort—to stand up from a seated position on her own.

She’s doing well enough that her oncologist has put her back on the schedule for a drastically reduced round of chemotherapy. He agreed that the first level of chemo was far too damaging and has given a lot of thought to adjusting the components to balance clinical benefit with quality of life. On July 10, we’ll begin chemo again. We’re both praying she tolerates it well and that it buys us more meaningful, high‑quality time together.

Tami still needs someone with her at all times, and our incredible family support has been a blessing. I’ve been able to resume calling my local clubs, which is a welcome break for both of us. Her siblings have been taking turns dropping by so I can run errands, shop, and call dances. Before the most recent hospital stay, my sister Andrea came out from Arizona to stay with Tami while I called a weekend gig. As we work—literally and figuratively—to get our “house in order,” my sister Kathy also came out from Arizona to give us a Marie‑Kondo‑ish boost in decluttering. My sister Karen, along with many members of our tight‑knit square dance community, have expressed not only willingness but a genuine desire to help.

Tami’s Home Care Regimen — Complicated by TPN

Tami ended up with a couple of unexpected extra nights in the hospital while the care team figured out how to set her up for success at home and trained me on the equipment. As I mentioned in a previous update, her gut isn’t processing food, so all of her nutrition comes from Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN) delivered via IV. To make this manageable for a novice caregiver, they sent us home with an IV pole and a very user‑friendly home‑use pump called a CADD pump.

She also has blood clots in both legs, so I give her a blood thinner injection twice a day. Conveniently—or inconveniently, depending on how you look at it—the TPN runs for 12 hours, and the injections are also every 12 hours. So we’ve paired the routines: connecting and starting the TPN, and later stopping and disconnecting it, all aligned with the injections. It’s just part of the rhythm of settling into this new normal.

A General Note About My Schedule

Until Tami can manage more of the basic activities of daily living on her own, I can’t leave her for more than a few hours at a time. Given how close we came to losing her before that thirteen‑day hospital stay, I’m profoundly grateful to still have the opportunity to care for her.