Tami's Journey

  Tami's Connection to the Recital Hall Tami and I were blessed to share almost every Monday night together in the Recital Hall in Balboa Park with our little hexagon group, the Lighthouse Squares.  Tami would be the first face everybody saw. She would sit at the treasurer's table and chat with whoever came in. Tami also danced with the California Heritage Dancers, who practice in this hall. So, she felt a real connection to the hall. Though Tami and I didn't discuss this as part of our planning discussions, I am certain she is smiling at the choice of the location. Some Practical Information Location - Recital Hall, Balboa Park Date and Time: Sunday, August 23 at 12 Noon Where is The Recital Hall  - The address of the Recital Hall is  2130 Pan American W Rd, San Diego, CA 92101.   For those that use landmarks, the Recital Hall is close to the Auto Museum, and fairly close to the Air & Space Museum.  For more information about the Recital Hall, cli...

This will be a very short post. An epilogue will follow with more details, insights, and gratitude after I have had some tme to process.   This post is simply to notify. Tonight, at 9:33 PM, after a heroic fight, a day with her siblings by her bedside and me crawling into her cramped hospital bed to hold her one final time, Tami shuffled off her mortal coil and went to meet our heavenly father.   As much as I am exhausted and devastated, I am grateful that she was resting peacefully when she passed. Her pain and suffering are over.  Thank you all so much for caring enough to follow this Journey. The love and support has meant more than I can possibly express in words.  More to come...    

 The Decision to Transition to Hospice Care I apologize for the length and weight of this post. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever written.  I fear that this pales in comparison to the next post I expect to write.  Some decisions are choices and others are simply reactions. As my last post indicated, we spent a few days in the hospital the 11th thru the 13th due to bleeding related to her largest tumor. Well, Tami had a standard pre-chemo blood draw on Thursday the 16th. That morning, along with the continued bleeding, Tami noticed abdominal swelling (to put it mildly), redness, and tenderness. At the urging of her Oncologist, we went back to ER after her blood draw.   By the time we were seen, Tami was in sepsis, and severely dehydrated. So, they started an IV with fluids and antibiotics. They also did a CT Scan. The CT Scan showed that the primary tumor ruptured, and that the cancer spread so much that there are too many blockages to be operable. ...

Andy - I think we have a problem Nothing good starts with the words, Andy... I think we have a problem . But after Tami's Saturday afternoon nap, that was the wake up call. The problem in this case was unexpected bleeding. So, we contacted the Kaiser clinical advice line, who, after looking at Tami's medical record, advised us to go to ER. So, off to ER we went. They wanted to keep Tami overnight for observation. After 5 hours of being there, there was no further bleeding.  So, Tami opted to go home, with the agreement that, if it happened again, we would come back. So, we signed the discharge "Against Medical Advice" (AMA) forms and went home.   Sunday morning confirmation   It didn't take long to realize the bleeding was not a one time occurence.  The next morning the evidence was back. So, again, off to ER we went. This time, Tami allowed the admission for observation to occur.  They performed a procedure to try to determine the cause of the bleedi...

"You Look More Relaxed" As most of you know, I call square dances for a few wonderful weekly clubs. One of the dancers (okay square dance royalty) in my Sunday Night club, Jim Maczko, made the comment that I seemed more relaxed lately. I guess my attempts at hiding the stress were not working very well.  I apologize, as I try hard not to burden dancers with my reactions to what is going on with Tami. The calling has been my therapy throughout this journey, and the dancers have been agents of comfrort for me. They deserve better than to bare the burden of my concern.  But... back to Jim's comment.  He is right. I am more realxed. As I stated in an earlier blog post, the most recent trip to ER was preceded by me finding her on the couch somewhat unresponsive. What I did not express in the previous post was just how traumatic it was to look into Tami's vacant eyes and have to shake her awake. That was followed by in inpatient stay where the first several days of her sta...

First Things First — The General Update on Tami First of all, a quick apology for not writing for a while. I have been spending time actually carng for Tami, rather than writing about her. The bottom line is that Tami is home, settling in, and getting physically and mentally stronger each day. After spending far too long immobile in a hospital bed, it has taken time for her to regain the ability to stand and walk. Now, with some stability assistance (me, a walker, walls, counters, tables, sinks, etc.), she can do both with a growing sense of confidence. As of today, she was even able—though with considerable effort—to stand up from a seated position on her own. She’s doing well enough that her oncologist has put her back on the schedule for a drastically reduced round of chemotherapy. He agreed that the first level of chemo was far too damaging and has given a lot of thought to adjusting the components to balance clinical benefit with quality of life. On July 10 , we’ll begin chemo ag...